Stress and other yummy stuff

I know I haven't posted in awhile about McKenzie and I but life have been really busy. This is a vent post though. I am now working on base more money and the hours are good but its having a bad effect on Kenzi and of course me. I feel like I hardly ever see her and I am the type of mom who likes to know everything that my baby is doing. I know my mom loves her but I feel like my mom just doesn't have time for her anymore especially with being married now.


I use to feel comfortable with ladybug being with her dad while I'm at work now he is a jerk and I will be fighting for full custody for my daughter. Yeah I knew things would be this way. Every agreement we have he lies to me and breaks it. Last Friday was it for me. This custody battle,my job, everything has me stressed out and I don't know which way is up. I'm crying as I write this that's all I know how to do. No one really knows why I am so stressed I mean who wants to talk about trying to get custody of your daughter and how you feel like you don't spend enough yime. He also does not pay child support so this job is Godsent. I just don't know what t think anymore.

Ladybug is crawling!!

This deserved a post of its own. A way from the negative post! My babygirl is crawling. She is 8 months and crawling. Today we put her on the floor and she crawled right to me. It made me cry. I though tshe would not crawl until she was older but she did and made mama proud.

So ladybug is going to be a big sister!

Well that's what I heard. The little girl who me and her dad got into a hugge arguenent about is now two months pregnant with his child. I can't say I didn't see it coming because i did. I knew I would have to face the reality of mckenzie having a brother or sister. It hurts though. I'm not going to lie it hurts but I can't dwell on it. Kenzie dad is in the past. It hurts but hey its life.

Our Life Thus Far

Well McKenzie is finally here!!! She is 8 months old now and so beautiful. Ladybug was born August 3,2010 at 6:18 pm weighing 7lbs 3.6 oz and 21 inches long. I gave birth to my beautiful angel at 38 weeks and 3 days. I had to be induced because of blood pressure issues and ladybug was not eating. I was so scared! I wanted a natural birth no meds but things don't always go as planned. My epidural experience was bad. I will never have another one. Other than that labor etc was not as bad as I thought it would be but my sister calls me a pain freak lol. Ladybug dad was there and stayed tge night. He was really nice and sweet helped a lot but now.....


Well we tried working it out but he has hurt me too many times and I will never be with him again. I'm raising my beautiful baby girl alone. I am working abd we have moved into our own place. Its hard being a single mom,working,and making sure you and baby get your time together but its all worth it for her. One day she will be a independant woman too. I thank God for my babygirl but please tell her to sleep for mommy lol! Signing off.

I guess she doesn't deserve a better man?

I am completely fed up with McKenzie's dad. Facebook truly let's you know a lot about someone. Her dad can never be around when I need him but from his status he can ride around with his little girlfriends and also today took the cake he put how he wants to be a better man for whomever. So I guess my daughter does not deserve a better man but some woman does. He didn't even go to the prepared child birth classes I went to Saturday, which was planned two months in advance. He gave me the lie of not being able to get off for that day. At least he gave me the money to take the class, isn't that nice? I really don't get him at all and never will.

On another note my class was fun and my best friend Ashlee went with me. For 50.00 you would think they would provide you with lunch but nope lol that was not the case! So I was like maybe we will get a baby goody bag. Nope not that either but the learning experience was fun. We also went on a hospital tour. I was cramping so bad and wanting to sit down. Pregnancy is no joke!

Last night I don't know if my water broke or not but I felt like something was leaking TMI but I checked myself and the smell was odorless, so I don't know. I was getting some pain in my pelvic area but I still do not know. I have been cramping a lot today and trying to sleep it off. I go to the doctor Friday so we shall see!

Hey Ya

Okay so the other day my mom and I were in Walmart shopping and looking at some stuff for me to take into the hospital when I go. We stopped by the wedding stuff aisle to check out things for my mom's wedding. Well two ladies came over to us and started talking. The one who did the most talking was telling us how she was in a bad marriage and how she married for convenience and that was to get out of her mom's house and because she had a baby by the car. After that she started talking to us and giving my mom and I advice. She told us later that she was a prophetess.

Anyway she told me that I was wise and anointed. That I am not one of thie girls and I will never fit in. Well for someone not to know me at all, she would know I don't try to fit in with anyone, I love being to myself. She said a lot of great things about me and how anything that I want all I have to do is ask God for it because I am favored. I believe this too because God has been so good to me in these trying times. Especially when I felt like giving up. She also said that my baby girl would grow to be an evangelist and command authority. She spoke about my baby's father too, saying that he loves me but is not in love with me, I figured that, and that he would break my heart by marrying someone else and that he is all about self but that there is someone that has loved me since the day he first saw me and is in love with me. Even though I have a baby by someone one else he would like to raise her with me. I started crying when she said this because the person could be my best-friend. He told me that he has always loved me but you know it's odd because hey you grew up together and he was kind of scrawny lol.

Also my best friend has a family now. He wanted to see where things would go with us but I couldn't do it. I asked him to promise me that he would not be like my baby's father and stay with the mother of his child to raise their beautiful daughter together and he promised. We hardly ever talk now. We use to talk all the time and he is like the only person who knows how to deal with me. I miss him so much but I would never want the mother of his child to experience what I am and have been going through. Never.

Baby Shower and other stuff : )

Hi ya! Have not wrote in awhile but have been trying to keep my nerves down and stop crying all the time. Anyway I wanted to tell you about my baby shower. It was really nice! My mom ordered me cute lady bug cupcakes and the food that was served was delicious! My cousin even made me a big pan of pasta salad, because she know I love pasta salad. My mom made some delicious deviled eggs, tuna, and meatballs. We also had the little smokie sausages. Oh let's not forget the sherbet and ginger ale punch, it was soooo good. Too bad I only had one cup of it. My cousins kids were playing in it and drinking it all. Why oh why do people kids who do not listen at all to baby showers?

Anyway gift time! McKenzie received a lot of clothes, I mean a lot. First from my family members who were not able to make it, which were my aunts on my dad's side who always, always try to make it but they live so far away! Okay from them I received Gift cards to Target and Walmart, a bassinet, blanket, and really cute clothes. My grandmother also sent me some really cute dresses! My step mom sent me a gift card to JcPenney's and I was able to buy McKenzie a big diaper bag and two cute outfits.

Family members here: On my mom's side my auntie who is also McKenzie's god mother is buying McKenzie's crib, and she also wanted to make sure I had something from her and my cousin at my shower so I have a huge box of Huggies diapers and a huge box of wipes and also a cute outfit from my cousin. That's it from my mom's side of the family which made me sad and that's why I just really have not been in the mood to post because well long story short I never forget anyone when it was their baby shower. Anyway on to my other gifts. I received tons of cute clothes at my shower, a bassinet, diaper bag for dirty diapers, a diaper bag it's small so that is why I brought a big one, socks, hairbands, hair bows, hooded towels, washcloths, two bouncers, one from my shower buddy on Justmommies and the other from my friend.Onesis , shoes, diaper cake from my best friend. I recently receive the Lady bug crib set I wanted and a hamper from a really great friend.

I am so thankful for all of my wonderful friends and family who really did not have to buy anything for my baby but they did and I am so happy they will be a part of her life. I hurt so much though because I wish I was able to do for my daughter and buy her things now but at the moment I can't. I pray that when she is up some months God will provide me with a job so I can give back to those who have helped me and the most important thing spoil my babygirl. I did not receive a lot of the necessities at my shower but my friends who read about everything really pulled together to help me and also my mom and I truly appreciate it. I prayed and prayed that God would help me and he has been doing that.



Now on to my pregnancy. Well I think I have been having contractions. I really do not know. Sometimes my stomach tightens up and it curves round to my back but than again maybe it is McKenzie moving? Yesterday my brother went for a walk with me because I was having contractions. They started when I was just laying down and I had to get up and start walking. I am 34 weeks, well tomorrow I will be so this is too soon. Maybe it is just braxton hicks or whatever they are called I don't know. All I know is I have been very crampy lately and my back hurts a ton. My appointment last week I told my doctor about what has been going on and hse has moved me to coming every week now. Isn't that kind of soon? My sister also informed me that my doctor will be going out of town and not coming back till July 22nd. I truly hope Kenzie does not try to make an early appearance. I want my doctor lol!