What were you thinking and other stuff.

Maybe it is just the hormones but my dad seems to be really pissing me off lately. I mean he always says I will be there for you and help you with anything you need but his gift to me was clothes! I mean I even discussed with him how I needed a breast pump, plus other stuff that to me I could put to use with my daughter but clothes?! I have received so many clothes and I can grab some clothes myself. I thought he would at least buy one of the bigger needs that McKenzie will use but nope. I just don't think guys really get the concept of how hard it is for single moms. I am doing this by myself. Her dad is sometimes in a whole different universe,still trying to talk to this and that girl instead of preparing for the birth of our daughter. I can not depend on him. I doesn't matter how many times he says he will be there. I heard that in the beginning when we talked about if something happened and I got pregnant and you see how he was there. He cheated on me when I was 6 months pregnant!

I just don't understand men like him and my dad. I just wish I could hibernate and not come out until it's time for my daughter. I am so sick of people and their crap.


I was going to post about my baby shower but I will save that for another day. I'm out.

Crying and thinking

I am just crying and thinking how I would love to stay home with my baby girl for about a year or more but I can't because I have to make a living for the two of us and I want her to have the best. I don't want her to have to go without anything every day that she walks this earth. I wish I had it like my mom did when we were younger. She stayed home up to my sister and I were four. She had to work when my brother came along though.

It hurts me to even think of leaving her. I know my mom will take good care of her but wow I will miss out on so much. I feel so bad. I wish things could have been different for her, I really do.

Ohy my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sick of the different attitudes in this house! I am pregnant, hormonal and I think my attitude is enough to deal with but to deal with everyone else to is just way too much for a girl! I mean everyday it is either my mom acting crazy, my sister, or my mom;s boyfriend. It is really getting on my nerves. I just want to have a calm and collected pregnancy not with all this drama.

Every time my mom's boyfriend makes her mad which it seems like every other day, she gets all cranky and takes it out on everyone, I am like really? It just does not make sense. I hope one day to meet the man of my dreams, get married, have Kenzie a little brother or sister so I can finally experience a peaceful pregnancy and I will be in my own home. This is just too much for me. I am so stressed and annoyed with it.

In other news I have a doctor's appointment today, I pray it goes well. Peace!

Falling and whatever else!

Well Friday I had to go to the hospital to monitor the lady bug because I fell coming into the house. I was trying to rush to get my shoes and hurry out so my mo could meet someone she was interviewing to be her wedding coordinator. I fell on my stomach and also skint my knee, which my leg still hurt lol! That was a lot of weigh for my leg to handle lol. The lady bug is okay though, she was kicking the monitor off and the nurse told me to tell her to stop, I just laughed. As long as she was okay and kicking like crazy I was happy!

In other news I found out I passed my Glucose test and I keep praising God for that, why because I prayed and prayed about it. My sister kept saying oh you will fail blah blah blah and my mom, (love her) said you will pass and be okay. My step mom also told me to not get all frazzled about it. Thank God for those two ladies also. I do have to take some iron pills so I just got some vitamins with iron and also need to eat more red meat and vegetables. I love vegetables can't believe I have not been eating enough. I go to the doctor again this week, I don't know what to expect! Wow I just never knew I would be a mom!

Sorry!

Sorry I have not posted in a while. I had internet problems because of the storm here but now everything is back popping!

So Friday went to the doctor for my bi weekly now check up and she told me everything was great and ladybug is growing and how she just had to be sure about her heart. Which I truly understand it is better safe than sorry. From there I had to go to the hospital to have my GD test, and I thought the drink would be nasty it was really good! The nurse said that I was the only person who liked it lol. I am so different. The bad part is Kenzie's father had to take me to the doctor's appointment. See I want him to be there for the appointments but I do not want to ride in that car with him and it's like he does not understand the true meaning of I just want to be your friend.

The whole time at my doctor's appointment he is all over me like we are a couple and we are not. It is no since of faking it. You walked out on me at the and still is the hardest part of my life right now and you think I want to be all hugged up with you and you kissing me telling me you love me, save it brother. I really do not get guys like him at all. He has so much growing up to do. This is why I feel that it is better for me to keep my distance from him because yes I do love him but I can't do this crap anymore, I have had enough. I just feel so done with him and all his games. All I care about is my daughter. Her health and her safety. I care about being here for her. I am done with trying to get him to realize how he will be missing out on so much. It's not that hard to see. He wants to move about freely,well have at it!